Three Wasted Years
by i-have-a-llama-army
Summary: Elladan has been alone for three years since Elrohir was captured by orcs. For three years he has searched for his twin unsuccessfully. Thirty-five times he has returned to his father's home, empty-handed and without his beloved brother. He has finally found his twin, but will their relationship ever be the same when it is partly Elladan's fault that Elrohir was captured?
1. Chapter 1

Elladan slashed out with his sword for the seemingly hundredth time, decapitating another orc with an easy movement. How many of these stupid things were there?

He shuddered as another orc came up behind him and he was forced to turn around. This was not how it was supposed to be! His brother, his soul, was meant to be there, protecting his back and blind side. That was how it had always been.

And yet he was used to having to defend himself from every angle now, and the thought made his heart ache.

"YOU WILL PAY! ALL OF YOU WILL PAY!" Elladan screamed at the thought of his twin, and the orcs jeered at him. He spun past them in a whirl of long, dark hair and a flashing sword, and three of them fell, dead, at his feet.

He pushed through another open doorway, shoving one orc above the frame, dazing it before slitting its throat.

His eyes darted around the room, and his heart sank, as it always did when he found an empty one. Another failure; another wild goose chase; another day his brother was left alone to suffer wherever he was.

He was jolted from his thoughts as his mechanical movements were halted by the clash of a sword against his. His eyes fell upon an orc, this one taller and broader than the average, which had not been killed by his wild strokes like the others had. Because of the beast's height, the only consequence of the blow was a gash on its shoulder.

"Finally come for your brother, elf scum?"

Elladan's heart missed a beat at those words from the gravelly, uneven voice that was like the edge of a saw from using the Black Speech. His brother. His twin. His Elrohir.

"What have you done to him?" he whispered menacingly, and the orc grinned, stealing a glance at the low ceiling of the room as if it was the sky and he were trying to tell the time.

"Oh, it's almost that time of day again," he said, his grin of rotting teeth both infuriating and disgusting Elladan. "Listen, and you'll find out, elf."

At that moment, there was an ear-shattering scream, and Elladan felt like he was being stabbed. That scream was all too familiar, though there was no hint of attempted restraint and therefore remaining pride in it.

"ELROHIR!" he yelled, but there was no response other than another cry.

"You disgusting creature! You and your vile masters will pay for what you've done to him!"

With that Elladan put his sword through the creature's heart, and it let out a sickening gurgle as it crumpled to the ground. He kicked the body and ran towards the direction that the screams had come from, just as another wracked the walls.

"ELROHIR!" he yelled again, but again there was no reply.

There were no doors in the entire building, and thus Elladan found his way to the room easily.

It was dark, very dark. The only light was from four torches, one in each corner of the desolate space.

The orcs were faced away from him. There were four of them. Two were merely sitting and jeering, and one was standing above another, which was holding up a fistful of ebony hair. The orc that was standing held a sword high above its head, preparing to swipe downwards.

With a cry of rage, Elladan stabbed the two bystanders with one sweep and the one holding the hair with a stab. The minute the orc fell, the head and body connected to the hair crumpled, but Elladan's arms jerked around it instinctively.

The last orc was already in mid-swing, bringing its sword down upon the exposed neck of his captive. Elladan met its sword with a blow filled with the power of his overwhelming anger. The orc staggered back and Elladan took the opportunity to stab it through the heart. It fell backward with a thump onto the ground.

There was a moment of shocked silence, filled only by the harsh breathing of the being in Elladan's arms. Could it really be…?

The broken body let out a groan, and Elladan felt himself jolted from his daze. Tears exploded from his eyes and ran down his cheeks as he lay the body on the ground with unbelievable gentleness. He looked down on the face.

Dark hair, though it had been cut to shoulder length, was silky and smooth despite the tangles and dirt. Grey eyes looking down at the ground, shining with pained and relieved tears. Pale features from blood loss, but still uncannily like Elladan's own.

The face was covered in scratches and deep cuts, but what caught Elladan's eye was the shredded tunic and the blood soaking through the little remaining fabric. There were patches larger than his hand all over his twin, all over his body. Through the holes in the tunic and lettings he could see burns, lashes, cuts…

Ai, Valar.

"Elrohir…" Elladan whispered. Elrohir's eyes moved slowly upward to his twin's face, as if he was afraid of what he would find. When they fell upon his twin, tears began flowing down his face.

"Elladan, Elladan, Elladan, Elladan, Elladan, Elladan!" Elrohir said with a voice raspy from screaming as if the name were a lifeline. "Elladan, you have come, you are here…"

"Shhh, gwador-nin, of course I have come…" Elladan's previously silent tears turned into sobs that shook his entire body.

"I'm so sorry, Elrohir…I-I made you d-do this, and I…it t-took too long to f-find you, look what I've d-done!"

Elrohir didn't even object. He was so tired and his entire body hurt. When he had been hurt the first time after being captured, he had closed off his bond with his twin to make sure his gwador would not have to take any of the pain. As the orcs' torture methods got more and more terrible, it only strengthened his resolve. His mind was tightly shielded so his brother would not know the pain he was in, even as it threatened to overwhelm him.

Elladan lay down next to Elrohir as the latter's body began to shudder with pain.

"Elrohir…Elrohir…my soul, my brother, my life, my angel, my Elrohir…" Elladan whispered, lying on his side facing his twin, putting a hand on the side of the cheek that didn't have any obvious injuries. "I have missed you so much, my Elrohir…I will never let you go again."

He leaned forward to place a kiss on Elrohir's brow, but as he tried to draw away Elrohir's weak arms wrapped around him, holding them in an embrace. Elladan was filled with a sudden desperation, and he clutched at his twin, holding him tightly to his chest, burying his face in Elrohir's hair, breathing in. He smelled sweat, coppery blood. But beneath it, he could still faintly smell the cleanliness, the minty sort of smell that he only knew as _Elrohir._

"I am sorry, I'm so sorry, Elrohir…I'm so sorry…"

Gradually the tension in Elrohir's shoulders disappeared, and Elladan felt the part of his mind that had been desolate and empty since his twin had left fill with light.

But the light remained only for a second before the entire thing turned to red, black, and bitter pain that made him clench his teeth together with a grimace. He remembered back when he and Elrohir had rescued their mother, how their bond with her was filled with black and red. Darkness and blood.

"Elrohir…" Elladan whispered, both in horror at the similarity of the two situations and in relief at having his other half connected to him once again. His hold around his brother tightened.

"You're doing it again…" Elrohir whispered.

"Ai, Valar!" Elladan exclaimed, banishing all thoughts of Celebrian from his mind immediately. What was he doing? That was how he'd caused this whole mess in the first place! "I'm sorry, gwador-nin. I will stop, now."

Elrohir gave a small smile which quickly faded. The pain was immeasurable. Black spots danced before his vision.

"Elladan…Elladan…Elladan, it is dark, so dark…" he said in a panicked voice. Elladan held him close.

"I will not leave you, Elrohir. Go to sleep. I will be here when you wake up."

Elrohir's eyes drifted shut, and Elladan wasn't sure how long he held his brother in that nearly empty room and cried. He cried for the three years that he had missed of his twin's life, the three years of pain and torture that he himself had caused.

He cried for the three wasted years.

_A/N: Okay, this is me procrastinating on updating Broken. This idea randomly struck me while I was thinking about that and demanded to be written._

_I am thinking of continuing this, because I realize there are lots of loose ends._

_Please review and let me know what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2 _

When Elladan got a few miles from the orc camp, he decided it was nigh on time to check Elrohir's wounds. His twin actually had a relatively high pain tolerance, so hearing his screams earlier had been extremely unnerving.

"Ai, gwador, what have they done to you?" he murmured, setting Elrohir carefully on the ground. Even asleep, Elrohir cringed as he was put on the ground, but there was no position that he could be put in without causing him pain, and this was the most convenient for Elladan to examine his wounds.

Elladan carefully cut away the remaining shreds of Elrohir's tunic and undershirt and made a small pile of the bloodstained fabric. As the last piece was removed and he was able to see fully the damage done to his twin, he gasped.

He remembered hearing three screams in the camp, and the reasons for those three screams were grimly apparent. Three stab wounds, one on his right shoulder, one on his left thigh, and one in the center of his stomach were oozing blood lazily. Elladan caressed Elrohir's cheek with feathery light fingers as he looked at them, hating that even in sleep his twin's eyebrows were drawn together in pain.

Besides the three obvious wounds, there were burns covering most of the left side of his torso and too many half-healed cuts to count. A few whip lashes snaked around his hips and stomach to show slightly from the front.

Elladan cursed softly as he realized that there was little he could do. He only had one pack of healing supplies, and they were in the middle of the woods, somewhere in the Misty Mountains south of Rivendell. How had it taken his so long to find this place? He had scoured almost every inch of Middle-Earth and found at least a hundred camps yet he managed to miss the one his brother was in, so close to home.

The other risk was infection. He was not in a sterilized healing ward, he was in the middle of a clearing on a mountain covered in dirt. However, the stab wounds desperately needed stitching, and if he didn't close them then Elrohir would undoubtedly die before the day was out. It was a risk he'd have to take.

But first, cleaning the wounds.

He made a simple pain-numbing mixture and poured it into Elrohir's mouth. His twin was deeply asleep, perhaps because he knew for once that he was safe because of his bond with his twin. Elrohir swallowed instinctively and Elladan sat and watched for a few minutes as the lines of pain on his face did not disappear, but they faded slightly. It gladdened him to see that he could help his twin, even if it was only a little.

Elladan took out his waterskin and some bandages and poured water on them, taking a deep breath before forcing himself to put the wet pad onto the wound on Elrohir's shoulder.

Despite the pain-numbing drink, Elrohir still writhed under Elladan as he put the water on the wound.

"Shhh, shhh…Elrohir, it's going to be okay, I have you, I have you…" Elladan said as he held his whimpering brother to the ground. "Shhh…I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Elladan allowed his presence to enter Elrohir's mind and felt him calm down almost immediately, his unfaltering trust after everything that had happened still amazing him.

He cleaned the rest of the wounds with not so much as a peep from Elrohir, and he found himself awed by his brother's strength and willpower once more. He stitched the stab wounds shut and turned Elrohir over, washing the now dirt covered lashes that covered every inch of his back. He put bandages on all the wounds and found that Elrohir was practically covered from head to toe in white. He sighed.

He had left the horses around here somewhere, and when he whistled they trotted up to him from under the trees. Elrohir's horse, Nala, rushed over to her master, recognizing his scent instantly even after three years, and she nudged his head excitedly. When he didn't so much as stir, her nudges grew more worried and insistent. Elladan took her head in his hands, looking into chocolaty brown eyes.

"Do not worry for him," he said in elvish, the melodious words flowing from his tongue and soothing the horse. "With a little luck, he'll be fine as soon as we get him to Ada."

Elladan's own horse, Narea, was the older sister to Nala by a year and a half, but they looked uncannily alike, with brown coats and eyes and bulging muscles. When choosing their horses, the twins always liked to get ones that looked alike just to confuse people further as to which twin was which.

Elladan took out a length of rope from his pack and hoisted Elrohir onto Nala, tying the rope around his waist and under her underside to hold him on. When he was sure his brother was secure, he cleared up the small camp he had made and mounted Narea, setting her off at a canter toward home. Nala followed behind, each step she took making Elrohir's lifeless head bounce. The sight made Elladan chuckle, despite the circumstances.

It had taken him a week to get to the camp from Rivendell, but that was at a trot and he planned to have the horses canter the entire way back, so he would be able to get there within four days, if everything went well. The thought made him both hopeful and apprehensive. Four days was four days. It could be a good thing or a bad thing.

They rode for a few hours, but when the horses tired after a few leagues and he grew hungry Elladan decided it was time for a rest. He dismounted near a small stream and untied Elrohir from Nala, putting him down on one of blankets he had brought in his pack. He checked the bandages, and there was a lot less blood than he had anticipated. He smiled. His stomach growled again, demanding his attention.

He grabbed his bow and sword and let the horses graze, knowing they would not stray far from Elrohir and if anything happened they would be loud enough to alert anyone within a league.

He walked carefully through the forest with silent footsteps, stopping at a tree. A few hundred feet away was a rabbit, sniffing at some brush. He pulled back his bowstring and aimed, then released. A second later the poor creature was dead, an arrow through its eye.

He picked up the rabbit and put his bow on his back, walking at an easy pace back to the temporary camp.

"ELLADAN!"

He broke into a run at the sound of the tear-filled yell ringing through the trees. As he got closer, he heard the sobbing that could only be coming from one person.

"Elrohir!" he said, sliding onto his knees next to his brother, putting a hand on his face. "What's wrong, gwador?"

"Elladan…where…did you go? Don't leave me alone…" Elrohir whispered, his voice raspy and weak.

"Shhh, El…I won't leave you again. I'm sorry. I didn't think you would wake up before I got back."

Elrohir quieted and reached up with his good arm, pulling Elladan close enough so their noses were touching. Elladan felt his twin's warm breath on his cheeks as he spoke again.

"I was scared…I thought this had all been a dream; that you hadn't come to get me; that I was all alone again…"

"I will never let you be alone for the rest of your life, gwador. I will always be here."

Elrohir bit back another sob.

"Elladan."

"Elrohir," Elladan replied, relishing in the closeness of his brother.

"Elladan."

"Elrohir."

"Elladan."

"Elrohir."

"Elladan."

"Elladan."

"Elrohir…wait, what?"

Elladan laughed, but Elrohir only looked confused. Elladan saddened when he saw his twin barely knew what a joke was anymore.

"It was a joke, El. I messed you up so you said the wrong thing."

"Oh."

There was a moment of silence before Elladan spoke again.

"How long has it been since you laughed, gwador?"

"I…I don't remember…" Elrohir breathed, looking up at his brother. "Maybe…the time I shoved you in that river?"

Elladan felt his heart drop at those words. That was the last good moment they had together, before their argument and Elrohir's capture.

"I think that will all change in due time," said Elladan. "Perhaps we should put some itching powder in Erestor's chair in the library when we return home."

"Home…" Elrohir murmured with a small smile at the idea, his eyes dropping closed. "I barely remember…"

"Shhh, you will remember when we arrive, gwador," said Elladan, and Elrohir fell asleep in his arms.

_A/N: Thank you for all the support and wonderful reviews I have gotten so far! You guys make writing worth it!_

_Please review!_


	3. Chapter 3

Note: Listen to the song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum for the best effect in this chapter.

Chapter 3

They got a few more leagues that day before Elladan made a camp for the night. As the sky darkened he found a small clearing and deemed it suitable. He lay down some blankets to make a bed of sorts and carefully untied the knots he had put in the ropes around Elrohir so carefully that afternoon, taking him and lying him on his stomach on the bed. He sat next to his brother and unwrapped the bandages. Now that he had more time and he didn't need to cover ground, he pulled some herbs from his pack and sat down to make a paste for the wounds.

Looking at Elrohir's pale face, he couldn't help but wish that his twin was in his own bed, swathed in the white sheets and blankets that made him look small again.

And, of course, the thought of Elrohir's room brought back bad memories.

_Picture perfect memories_  
_Scattered all around the floor_  
_Reaching for the phone 'cause_  
_I can't fight it anymore_

_It was a rare thing for Elladan Elrondion to get drunk, but it did happen. When it did, the instances were often decades apart._

_So to see the eldest son of Elrond—everyone knew it was him, because his brother was no longer in their halls and the thought of him made them all grieve to their very cores—wandering through the halls of his father's home completely drunk was certainly a sight to see._

_Elladan was not a merry drunk, like his brother was. Where Elrohir was usually serious and became jolly, Elladan, who was usually optimistic turned utterly grim. When the twins became drunk, they'd usually stay together, wandering up the stairs in a hushed manner, slipping into one of their rooms and sleeping together in one bed like they were elflings still._

_Drunk Elladan did not seem to realize that his twin was gone as he called for his twin loudly through the hallways._

_"Elrohir!" he yelled, and the eyes of some guards standing nearby on their night shifts saddened. "Elrohir, where are you?"_

_With slightly unsteady steps, he sauntered up to the door and wrestled with the doorknob for a moment. The guards looked on warily as they saw that it was not the door to Elladan's own room but to the one directly to the right._

_It was not until he arrived in his brother's empty room that the truth hit Elladan in the chest like a dagger through his heart. Elrohir was not here. The bed was made neatly, as it always was, but he was not here._

_He may never be here again._

_And I wonder if I_  
_Ever cross your mind_  
_For me it happens all the time_

_Valar knew how often Elladan thought of his twin. Every minute of every hour of every day there was nothing on his mind but his guilt and his twin's possible suffering. It was always Elrohir, every minute._

_But who knew how often Elrohir thought of him? If he was being hurt or he was in danger, what time would that leave for him to think of his gwador?_

_Elladan didn't know how he ended up standing in the middle of Elrohir's room, the door shut behind him, holding him there. He hadn't been in here since Elrohir's disappearance, afraid of the pain it would cause._

_It's a quarter after one_  
_I'm all alone_  
_And I need you now_  
_Said I wouldn't call_  
_But I've lost all control_  
_And I need you now_

_The small things that marked this room as Elrohir Elrondion's were painfully obvious. The neatness, the folded clothes on the chair, waiting for the next day when they would be worn. The same set of clothes had been sitting there for a year now._

_When Elladan and Elrohir were elflings, they had toys that they would never let out of their sight. Elladan's was a wolf slightly larger than his hand, and Elrohir's was a rabbit that was as big as his forearm. The ears and neck were drooped, and the small beady eyes were slightly chipped from frequently hitting the floor. Though Elladan had long ago grown out of his, Elrohir hid the bunny, named Nari, in his closet and got it before he went to sleep every night._

_Elladan looked at Nari now, with her lolling head, hidden between the piles of blankets in the closet, and walked over to her, picking her up and cradling her in his right hand. He moved one floppy ear from her face and felt a sob climb up his throat._

_And I don't know how_  
_I can do without_  
_I just need you now_

_He buried his face in Nari, muffling the sound of his crying. As he breathed in deeply, and the scent of his brother filled him, which was comforting for a second before it, too, turned to pain._

_He felt his knees hit the floor, and he was curled in on himself, regretting having ever entered this empty room._

_The balcony. Ai, Valar, there was still a lonely book on the balcony, one he remembered Elrohir having talked about. He had been excited about that book, and the bookmark still sat in a page about three quarters of the way through. The pages were crinkled and water stained from the numerous times it had rained in the past year, and some of the words were smudged, as he could see from the center of the room with his elven sight._

_The tears began to run down his cheeks._

_Another shot of whiskey_  
_Can't stop looking at the door_  
_Wishing you'd come sweeping_  
_In the way you did before_

_What he would give to have Elrohir walk in through the door that connected their two rooms, laughing at how they had completely missed each other by going into the each other's bedrooms._

_But he wasn't going to._

_And I wonder if I_  
_Ever cross your mind_  
_For me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one_  
_I'm a little drunk_  
_And I need you now_  
_Said I wouldn't call_  
_But I've lost all control_  
_And I need you now_

_And I don't know how_  
_I can do without_  
_I just need you now_

_It was so dark outside, but Elladan could see everything as if it were glowing. There was no light, and the bare torches hadn't had any fire in many years._

_He didn't know how long he was there, in the middle of the floor crying with Nari in his arms, but eventually the door slid open. He didn't look up._

_"Elladan."_

_Soft footsteps behind him. A hand on his shoulder._

_"Elladan, you need to stop this."_

_Long dark hair brushing the base of his neck._

_"You need to move on."_

_Whoa, whoa_  
_Guess I'd rather hurt_  
_Than feel nothing at all_

_"How dare you?" Elladan yelled, whirling around to face his father. "How dare you even suggest such a thing?"_

_"Elladan, it's been over a year," Elrond said, his face expressionless. "The likelihood of him coming back was low enough at the start."_

_"Ada…" Elladan breathed, his eyes full of shock and hurt. "What if it was Elros? Would you go after him to infinity then?"_

_Elrond sighed, but it seemed to be more in exasperation than sadness._

_"This isn't Elros. Elros is dead. This is Elrohir. He was my son and I loved him, but he is lost to me. There is nothing I can do."_

_Before he even knew what was happening, Elladan was standing face to face with his father, and he felt a sharp sting on his fist and his father's head snapped back. His hand curled around his father's tunic._

_"That was for Elrohir! I will not accept that he is dead until I am holding his body in my arms!" Elladan yelled, spittle flying from his mouth and onto Elrond's cheeks._

_He released his father and fell to his knees again, clutching Nari._

_"Elladan—"_

_"GET OUT!" Elladan screamed, and Elrond started at the sound. "Get out of my sight! You…I can't believe you…just get out!"_

_He heard the door opened and shut again, and he was all alone once more._

_Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all…_

_It's a quarter after one_  
_I'm all alone_  
_And I need you now_  
_And I said I wouldn't call_  
_But I'm a little drunk_  
_And I need you now_

_And I don't know how_  
_I can do without_  
_I just need you now_  
_I just need you now_

_Oh baby, I need you now_

Elladan blinked back to awareness as Elrohir stirred slightly, and he let a small smile come to his face. His Elrohir was here, safe.

Suddenly eager to get re-binding the wounds over with, he took the paste, now finished, and put it on the lashes, watching as a little bit of tension eased out of Elrohir's shoulders. He put bandages on the wounds and did the same for all of the front of Elrohir, so once again he was covered in white.

After eating a small meal of the leftover rabbit from earlier and giving Elrohir some water, he lay down beside his brother, watching as his chest rose and fell and feeling the warm air coming from his parted lips with each breath. The closed eyes were slightly worrying, but it was to be expected after so long without any real sleep.

Elladan wrapped his arms around his twin and lay there, and soon his eyes were glazed over in sleep.

His sleep was so deep he didn't see the signs that his twin was having a nightmare until it was too late.

_A/N: I do not own "Need you Now"._

_Anyway, longest chapter yet! Tell me what you think!_

_Please review!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

_They were holding him down, pinning him to the ground as he struggled against their grips. Long, claw-like nails bit into his flesh, and their skin was like sandpaper on his._

_"Stupid elf! Stay still!"_

_A metal-studded fist collided with the side of his head, and he felt blood began to trickle down his temple as the world blurred together. Before he had time to defend himself, his arms were tied and he was forced to his knees. When he looked up again, there was a large orc in front of him, a sneer on its face._

_"Ah, I was going to just give you some burns, but perhaps as punishment for your disobedience, we should go further."_

_Elrohir shivered, but he kept his face schooled into an indifferent mask as the orc circled him. He glared at the wall in front of him as if he could burn a hole in it._

_"How about your hair?" the orc said, its voice coming from behind his right ear and making him jump slightly. "I heard the elves care very much about their pretty hair. Perhaps we could take a few inches off the ends?"_

_Elrohir cursed himself as he began to shake. He felt the prick of a blade behind his ear and felt the blossoming of blood on his skin._

_"How short should we make it?" the orc said, and its disgusting hands running up and down his hair. They tangled in the bottom of it and lifted up the long, dark tresses._

_Then suddenly, the weight of them was gone. He heard them being cut, and he closed his eyes as tears threatened to spill. He breathed deeply, but he did not have time to compose himself before pain exploded on his shoulder blade. He cried out, unprepared._

_"Sorry. I seem to have accidently missed on that last slice, there."_

_Suddenly the tension around his wrists was gone, and he slid down to his knees, watching the orcs as they laughed and jeered, playing with his hair and flicking it around his face. He sat perfectly still, allowing them no reaction. Eventually they got bored and left, slamming the door behind them._

_He lifted a hand to his hair, which now barely reached his chin. He looked at the long locks laying haphazardly on the floor and touched them for a moment before turning away, trying desperately to hold it together._

_For a split second, all he could think was that he and Elladan would not look the same now, with his hair being such a giveaway._

_Then the reality came crashing down on him with a throb of his shoulder. He moved his hand up to it and touched it, hissing through his teeth in pain. It was just a flesh wound, a long slice down the back of his shoulder. It wasn't as bad as most days, though, and he sat down on the gritty floor, biting his lip as some of his old wounds were pulled taut. His whispered words that only he could hear were raspy._

_"Where are you, Elladan?"_

_The door swung open again. It was a different group of orcs, this one just back from a hunting mission by the look of their tattered smell and their stench that was even worse than the average orc's. And, by the look on their faces, it hadn't been a successful one._

_They didn't even say anything. They just closed the door behind them and came at him with fasts and feet and blades, coming at him from every angle so he had no way to defend himself. Blows rained down on him and he curled up on himself, trying to protect as much of himself as possible._

_A particularly hard kick hit his side and he moaned as pain exploded inside him and he heard the distinct sound of a rib cracking. A fist smashed into his face before he had time to block it, and blood gushed from his nose. Some of it found its way into his mouth, and he coughed, making his broken rib scream in agony._

_It continued, a merciless onslaught. After another minute or so, the first loud moan came from his lips, and the next cry soon after. The tears came next, leaving trails of salt on his dirty cheeks._

_"Stop!" he yelled, his painful cry echoing throughout the room. "Please…please stop, I—"_

"-hir! Elrohir, wake up, gwador!"

Elrohir jolted upwards into a sitting position with a gasp, his eyes wide and frantic. His breathing was erratic and harsh, and he barely noticed as Elladan's arms came around him and pulled him into a warm embrace.

"Shh, El, I've got you…shhh…"

Gradually he calmed, and he sagged against his brother, sudden, fierce pain pounding through his every nerve with the burst of adrenaline gone.

"Elladan," he breathed, melting into the warmness of his twin that felt amazing on his cold skin.

"Yes, it's me. I have you. I won't let them have you ever again," Elladan said, and Elrohir stayed leaning against his chest, relaxing enough that their auras and souls could melt together seamlessly for the first time in ages. Elladan felt a fraction of the pain Elrohir was in and decided he needed to keep his brother's mind off his wounds. He lowered Elrohir so that he was lying down with his head on Elladan's lap.

"Do you know who else came with me? She is very eager to see you awake," Elladan asked, and Elrohir looked up at him with a questioning gaze. Elladan smiled and whistled shrilly into the surrounding trees.

Elrohir heard the hoof beats, and his eyes widened. One of the first real smiles in a long time lit up his face.

When the horses arrived, Nala was obviously more enthusiastic than Narea, but both were rather excited. Nala came right up to Elrohir, sniffing his face and licking it, which was rather unusual for a horse, and whinnying excitedly. Elrohir gave a small chuckle, but it stopped abruptly with a grimace.

"Hey, girl," he said, reaching up and stroking her muzzle. "Hey. I'm here."

Eventually Nala calmed down slightly, and settled for just standing close to Elrohir, hovering over him as if making sure he would not leave her. Occasionally she would come and nuzzle his face again, but she would always back away again within a few minutes.

Elrohir closed his eyes, feeling the morning sunlight on his face and soaking in the warmth. Elladan looked down at his brother's peaceful face, and reluctantly realized it was midmorning and they needed to be on their way.

"Elrohir…" he said, putting a hand on Elrohir's head and tapping his cheek. "Elrohir, we need to get going."

There was no response. Suddenly it all seemed frightening. His pale face, his bandages with dappled blood covering them almost everywhere from the abrupt sitting up, and—was his chest even moving? Ai, Valar, he wasn't breathing! His Elrohir wasn't breathing!

"Elrohir!" he cried, and he moved immediately, removing himself from under Elrohir's head to leaning over him, shaking his shoulders. It was not the shoulder-shaking that woke Elrohir, however, it was the slamming of his head into the cold, hard ground.

"Ah!" Elrohir exclaimed, his entire body tensing as the base of his skull hit the ground and his entire spine seemed to vibrate.

"Elrohir!" Elladan exclaimed, but Elrohir was disoriented and he had just woken up, and his first reaction to anyone touching him was to get away, and get away fast.

Elladan grunted as Elrohir's knee slammed into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him rather effectively considering how weak his brother was. Elrohir wriggled out of his brother's hands, scurrying away from him on his hands and knees.

"Don't touch me!" Elrohir shouted, his eyes wide and unfocussed, and Elladan was heartbroken at the tears choking his voice. "I…I'll kill you!"

Elrohir fell to his knees, and his eyes slowly calmed. He looked startled to see that it was Elladan that he had hurt. Elladan was watching him from about three feet away, and the look in his eyes told Elrohir he wanted desperately to come and comfort him, but he also didn't want to scare him further.

"I'm sorry," Elrohir breathed, his arms wrapping around himself as his shoulders began to shake. "I'm sorry, Elladan…I—"

Elladan needed no more invitation, and he was by Elrohir's side in a minute, holding him to his chest as the younger twin began to sob.

"It's alright, El," Elladan soothed. He allowed a small smile to come to his lips. "You still pack quite the punch, brother."

Elrohir looked up, his tearful eyes desperate.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked. "Ai Valar, I'm so sorry, so sorry…" He buried his face in Elladan's tunic once again.

"It's alright, Elrohir, it's just a bruise. Right now I'm more worried about you and getting you home. Do you think you're ready to leave?"

Elrohir shook his head, and Elladan opened his mouth to continue but Elrohir spoke first.

"Could we just sit here for a while? Just a few minutes…it's so calm and quiet."

Elladan, not having the heart to refuse, nodded.

"Alright. Just a few, though."

"Okay."

So they sat.

_A/N: Procrastinating on my other story again. I just have so much more inspiration for this one, I can't help it! :D_

_Please, please, please review!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

Elrohir had fallen asleep on Elladan's lap, his eyes closed and his breathing slow and deep. Elladan looked lovingly on his brother's face, brushing away a strand of hair that fell in front of his pale features.

Deciding not to wake his brother, he carefully picked him up and went over to the horses. He was going to tie Elrohir onto Nala again, but he thought of his brother's reaction to even waking up abruptly and decided it would be considerably worse for him to wake up in a situation where he was tied up. So he put Elrohir so he was leaning onto Narea's neck before mounting behind him. One hand went around Elrohir's waist in the other lay on Narea's neck.

"Go, Narea," he said, prodding her flanks lightly with his feet. "To Rivendell! Make haste."

Narea cantered into the deep forest, Nala following closely behind her.

It was nearing lunchtime when Elladan noticed something was wrong.

Elrohir moaned and shifted, a hand making its way to his stomach above the wound there. Elladan didn't take any notice, thinking that Elrohir just felt some pain, as was to be expected. However, a few minutes later, when Elrohir groaned again, Elladan put a hand to his brother's forehead.

It was warm. Too warm.

He stopped Narea abruptly, and would have jolted slightly forward but he was already sliding from her flank, pulling Elrohir into his arms and holding him up with one arm. He rummaged in his pack with the other hand, eventually finding the blanket he wanted. He lay it on the ground and put Elrohir on top of it.

He hastily undid the ties of his brother's tunic that he had given him the day before—sharing clothes had never been a problem for them, for obvious reasons—and after that unwound the bandages from around his torso. What he saw made him gasp, and, feeling a pang from his bond with Elrohir, cringe.

The wound was bright red, the edges pink and tender. A few drops of yellowish liquid were oozing past the stitches, which, by the look of things, were not helping at all. And, judging by what Elladan felt when he touched Elrohir's mind to get a sense of the severity, it was extremely, extremely painful.

Elladan swore loudly, standing up and getting his waterskin from his bag, and, slightly worried by how little water was left inside, but in no position to do anything about it, he poured some onto a cloth and put some athelas on it. He grinded them into a powder that was absorbed immediately by the wet cloth.

He cursed himself. How had he not noticed Elrohir's pain before now? Perhaps he could've cleaned the wound and fixed the problem before it got this severe!

He was so not used to being able to feel anything from his brother that he had almost forgotten how helpful, and comforting, it was. He allowed his bond with his twin to fill most of his consciousness now, diving into it and watching as when he put the athela-covered cloth on the wound, the pain faded slightly, and the difference was making it possible for Elrohir to resurface to awareness.

"El-Elladan…" he breathed, his eyes cracking open. Elladan grinned at him.

"Well met, brother. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Elrohir said, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand fluttered over his stomach again before he grimaced and removed it. "Stomach hurts."

"I can tell," Elladan said, feeling the almost constant pain coming from his twin and into his own mind. He forced a smile despite the sadness and anger that filled him at the thought of his brother in so much agony. "I'll give you something to numb the pain, but after that all we can do is get you Ada."

Elrohir gave a small smile at the mention of his father, and he let his head turn to one side so it was pressed against the blanket. He struggled to keep his eyes open.

Determined not to let his worry about the infection, or even that there was infection come to his brother's attention, Elladan grabbed the waterskin and uncorked it, propping his brother against his own chest and pouring some of the water into his mouth. Elrohir drank greedily, and within a few seconds Elladan was forced to draw it away. Elrohir made a somewhat whiny noise at the withdrawal, but Elladan shook his head.

"I'm sorry gwador, but if you drink too much you will be sick. We need to get you some food as well."

Elrohir blinked in response, as if thinking hard about food. He didn't feel hungry, but it had been so long since he had eaten that perhaps he was just completely numb to the pangs of hunger.

Elladan lay Elrohir back down again, allowing him to doze off as he started a fire and made some broth with the last remaining bits of the rabbit. When it was ready, he went back over to Elrohir with a bowl in hand and sat him up again, watching him blink groggily.

"Hey. I got you some food," Elladan said gently, and Elrohir looked at him with tired eyes. With food on his mind, Elladan noticed how pitifully skinny his brother was. His face was sunken and the bags under his eyes made him look even worse. His wrists and ankles were pitifully thin and his entire body was slightly skeletal. Elladan recognized the symptoms of near starvation and felt the bubbling anger again, but he shoved it somewhere deep inside himself and held up a spoonful. Elrohir opened his mouth and allowed Elladan to feed him.

About four bites later, Elrohir paled and a hand flew to his mouth. Elladan flew to his side instead of behind him, and he held back Elrohir's short hair as he heaved, desperately trying to hold in the small amount of food he had been given. Tears began streaming down his face.

"Shhh, shhh, El, I've got you, I've got you. It's going to be alright…" Elladan murmured, pulling his twin close as he finally got his stomach under control, but not his tears. "How long has it been since you've eaten, Elrohir?"

Elrohir didn't seem to hear him as sobs wracked his all too thin frame. Elladan held him, shushing him and hating the monsters that had dared inflict pain on his brother that was terrible enough to make him cry. Within a few minutes Elrohir's sobs slowed to a stop, and Elladan looked down to see that he had cried himself into an exhausted sleep.

He finished the stew that Elrohir had left, and mounted Narea again. As she set off at a trot, he checked Elrohir's temperature every few minutes and found it did not drop at all. In fact, he thought it might be becoming even hotter. He sighed.

It was going to be a long trip home.

_A/N: Sorry for the somewhat late update. I know nothing has really happened so far in this story, but there will be some major action next chapter!_

_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

"They're that way! After them!"

Elladan's heart skipped a beat as the voice rang through the trees. Elrohir, who was half asleep, jolted to attention, and his hand immediately grasped Elladan's, which was holding him on the horse. He intertwined their fingers, and held tightly to his twin.

"Valar help us," Elrohir whispered, his voice filled with fear that made Elladan squeeze his hand all the harder. "They've come for me."

"What did I tell you?" Elladan asked, and Elrohir peeked over his shoulder at him. Elladan had on 'the look', well-known throughout Imaldris for being the look he wore to battle. And, as one of Rivendell's best swordsmen, he always emerged victorious. "I will never let you go again, Elrohir-nin."

Elladan pushed his heels into Narea's flank, and she flew across the path, and Nala's hoof-beats were heard from behind, as well as faint growling.

"Noro lim, Narea!" Elladan yelled. The growling, he realized with horror, was getting closer and closer. The orcs were gaining on them.

Elrohir was still looking over his brother's shoulder. So he saw when the first warg leapt through the trees and tackled Nala to the ground, its teeth digging easily into her hide.

"NO!" Elrohir yelled, and Elladan didn't even need to turn around to figure out what had happened, his mind connecting the panicked whinnying and his brother's cry instantly. He hung his head in sadness.

"Elladan!" Elrohir cried, and his free hand grasped Elladan's tunic as he turned halfway. "Elladan, turn back! We can't just leave her there!"

"I'm sorry, El," Elladan whispered. The hand that was not holding Elrohir's tightened on Narea's mane.

"Elladan, no!" Elrohir cried, pulling frantically on Elladan's tunic again. "Don't do this, Elladan! Please! Ai Valar…Nala…"

Elrohir turned back around, sticking a fist into his mouth to muffle his sobs. He couldn't hear Nala's whinny behind them anymore, and that could only mean one thing.

Meanwhile, Elladan was forced to forget about his brother's horse when he heard the growling approaching again. He heard a long, deep bark made the hair on the back of his neck prickle, and he grabbed the bow from his back and began to launch arrows in the direction of the orcs. While he was not as good an archer as, say, Legolas, he was a decent shot, and he heard a few orcs cry out in their foul tongue, making him wince.

Elrohir was still crying, but he had gone silent. His eyes were glowing with rage. He reached into the pack that Narea carried, feeling for his sword in its sheath. He knew Elladan would have it! He finally grasped it, and, with it clasped in his hand, he slipped from Narea and landed jarringly on his feet, leaving Elladan galloping into the woods.

Elrohir turned to the orcs and ignored the pain of all of his wounds stretching like a piece of rubber when he stabbed the first orc. It tumbled off its warg, and he jumped onto the beast's back, holding on for dear life as it tried to buck him off. He stabbed it once, twice, three times before it fell, flinging him over its head and onto the ground.

The force of the impact jolted all of his injuries so harshly that he nearly blacked out, but he was back up within a few seconds, and he met the orc's sword who had come up to him. He dispatched a few more orcs before he finally felt Elladan's back pressed against his.

"Damn it, Elrohir," Elladan growled as he fought off another orc. "What was that? You could've been killed!"

Elrohir's fraying emotions where pulled at his brother's degrading tone and the weight of Nala's death. The harshness of the words that came out of his mouth surprised even him.

"Oh, you don't want me to go hunting orcs now? Before, it was all you wanted!"

Elladan tensed against him, and he immediately regretted what he had said as Elladan pushed away from him, leaving him alone.

"Ai, Valar, Elladan, I'm—"

"It doesn't matter, Elrohir. I know. It was my fault. I know."

Elladan's voice was so sad. Elrohir cursed himself. How could he have said that?

"Elladan—"

"Duck!"

Elrohir immediately ducked, and Elladan reached over his head, swiping at an orc that had been coming at him from behind. Elrohir forced himself to stop thinking about his brother and to focus on opening his senses to defend himself from all sides.

But his wounds were throbbing and his head was fuzzy. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, his movements were slowing, and it wasn't long before he felt the clawed hands digging into the back of his neck. His shoulders instinctively went up, but the grip stayed firm. He was lifted easily into the air by his neck.

"Oi! Half-elf!" the orc holding Elrohir yelled, and Elladan turned immediately. His movements stilled and his eyes widened as he saw the perilous position his brother was in. The orc had put its hands all the way around Elrohir's neck, and he was slowly running out of air, struggling against the orc with all of his might to no avail. The orc's other arm was in a crushing grip around Elrohir's ribcage, and as Elrohir fought madly, Elladan swore he heard many sharp cracks that indicated his ribs had broken. Elladan watched in horror as his brother's movements slowly stilled. Their bond was fading.

"Stop it!" Elladan yelled, clinging desperately to the string left still connecting their minds. "Put him down!"

"Drop your weapons," the orc said, and Elladan let his sword fall from his grasp and onto the ground. He quickly took his quiver from his back, along with his bow, and laid them down.

"Now put him down," Elladan growled, and the orc looked to his companions.

"Is it worth killin' the one we've a'ready broked in to get this one?" the orc asked, and the others shook their heads vigorously. A new elf would not have had three years with them.

"A new elf will not scream for us," another orc said, and the others nodded in agreement. Elrohir's lips were blue by the time he was dropped to the ground. Elladan's reaction to the word 'scream' was a large shudder, and when Elrohir was dropped to the ground he ran to his twin's side.

"Elrohir. Oh, Valar, Elrohir," Elladan breathed, and he began to send Elrohir strength in waves through their bond, even as he pumped on his brother's chest.

"Come on, gwador! Breathe!" Elladan said, and finally Elrohir took a long, pained breath which rattled through his broken chest. Elrohir lay, unable to focus on anything but keeping his lungs working. Every breath was agony for his ribs and his now crushed chest.

"Good job, El," Elladan said softly. "That's it." He brushed some hair away from Elrohir's face and watched as his brother panted for air.

Two pairs of hands grabbed Elladan from behind, and he fought fiercely against them. His foot collided with a shin, and an orc collapsed, cursing. Elladan wrenched himself from the other orc's grip and ran to his bow, firing effortlessly and taking down at least ten orcs. Only fifteen remained.

He lifted his sword and charged at them with a cry of rage.

Elrohir watched from the ground, watching but not really seeing as his brother slaughtered the orcs. His own ragged breathing filled his ears, and he barely comprehended as Elladan came toward him and kneeled at his side.

"Elrohir? Are you alright?" he asked, and Elrohir stared up at him.

So Elladan saw his expression clearly when the arrow entered his back with a sickening thud.

_A/N: Dun dun duuuuuuuuun! _

_Sorry this update has been such a long time coming! I am now in England visiting family and I haven't had reliable wifi for about a week._

_Anyway, please, please, please, please, please review!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

_Two days ago_

Glorfindel took a deep breath, steadying himself. It was his ritual, every morning. Inhale, count to five, exhale, count to five. He had to prepare himself. He placed his palms against the large doors and opened them, entering the Hall. Elrond was seated at the table in the center of the room, silent and stoic, as he had been since…_no, I will not think about Elrohir. I will not._

Erestor walked up to the table next to Elrond holding a plate full of food in each hand, and he placed one in front of Elrond. Since…_No! No!_

Erestor had, for the last three years, gotten Elrond's food for him. It was often difficult to get Elrond to even come to the hall, never mind get his own food and act civil to his people. He always just sat quietly, ate, and went back to his study. And they could ask no more of him.

After collecting a plate of food, he sat at his designated seat across from Elrond. The chair squealed as he pulled it out and he cringed. The hall was silent.

Before, everything would've been bustling with activity, everyone would be talking to everyone else, and Elrond himself would've been the center of it all. But not since…not since then. Elrond had made his family a private place to eat since then. Now it was all silent.

Elrond did not even greet him as he sat, instead staring at his food with glassy eyes. Glorfindel glanced at the two empty seats. Celebrian's chair had long since been removed, but the empty seats remained for Elladan and Elrohir to Elrond's right. Technically, Elladan should've been to his right and Elrohir to his left, showing their positions, but the Peredhils were not a normal family.

They had decided, with the consent of Rivendell's citizens, of course, that Elladan and Elrohir would run Imaldris together after Elrond. Elladan could not imagine ruling without Elrohir, and Elrohir could not imagine all the time they would have to spend apart if Elladan had to rule by himself. So they both sat to his right.

Neither of them were there. One was lost and the other was searching for him.

Arwen's seat was to his left, but it was not often occupied. However, today it was, as Arwen was on one of her infrequent trips home. She put a hand on her father's arm.

"Ada, you should eat," she said gently, and he picked up his fork and did as he was told without comment. Glorfindel looked at Arwen gratefully. Trying to convince Elrond to eat every morning was always hard.

Glorfindel began to tuck in to his own food. He was about halfway through the plate when Elrond, who had been slouched over his plate, jolted to attention.

"Ada?" Arwen said. She put a hand on his arm. "Ada, what's wrong?"

"He's found him," Elrond breathed, and Glorfindel's heart skipped a beat. "Elladan has found him."

There was absolute silence. Glorfindel leaned over the table and put a hand on Elrond's shoulder.

"Where are they, mellon-nin?" Glorfindel said. His voice was calm, but his heart was pounding. Elrohir, Elrohir, Elrohir. He was alright. Elladan had found him.

"Something…something is wrong." Elrond said. His eyes were unfocussed. "Elladan should be…he should be the happiest he's ever been, but he is very upset...Something is wrong."

Glorfindel, Arwen, and Erestor watched as Elrond's eyes moved around, as if he was watching the action unfold.

"Ah!" Elrond exclaimed, clutching at his chest. "Elrohir, no! Valar…"

"What is it? Elrond, what is wrong with Elrohir?" Erestor asked, frantic. While Elladan, as a child, had doted on Glorfindel because of his fighting prowess, Elrohir had attached to Erestor because of his seemingly endless knowledge and their shared love for books. They had grown close.

"He…the orcs had him," Elrond whispered. "All this time…they had my son! My beautiful, gentle Elrohir! They had him! They have hurt him, like they did my Celebrian…"

"No…not Elrohir! Not my gwador!" Arwen said. She had a hand over her mouth, and tears were beginning to slip from her eyes. Elrond took her into his arms and held her shaking form, burying his face in her hair. Erestor hugged himself tightly, trying and failing not to shake. Glorfindel's face was emotionless, but inside he was weeping for the younger twin.

Elrond kissed Arwen's head and stood, his eyes filled with grief and anger. He looked at Glorfindel and Erestor.

"I was blind. I did not listen to Elladan when he told me Elrohir was still alive and that he needed us to save him…How could I have been so stupid?" Elrond said, thinking aloud. Glorfindel opened his mouth to speak, but Elrond held up a hand.

"No. I was stupid and I should never have given up on him. I have already failed to save one," his eyes were filled with grief. "but I will not fail again."

He began to walk towards the door.

"Glorfindel, Erestor, we will ride out in an hour."

_Present_

"Elrohir," Elladan gasped, and Elrohir gritted his teeth. It was too much. He couldn't stand more pain. It was too much.

"Elladan…I…" he whispered. Elladan notched an arrow and shot quickly into the trees, taking down the hidden orc archer. When he was sure the orc was dead, he grasped Elrohir's hand, focusing solely on his twin.

"Elrohir…shh, gwador-nin, I am here…" Elladan said, wishing with all his might that he could take the pain that was causing his brother's breath to come in gasps onto himself. Elrohir gripped his hand tightly, trying to breathe through the pain.

Elladan tried to ignore the way their bond was fading quickly.

"Elrohir, I need to get the arrow out, and bind the—"

"Elladan, please don't, I…I'm…" Elrohir's voice was raspy and growing softer. "I'm going to die."

There was a moment of shocked silence from Elladan.

"No! Elrohir, you can't give up on me!" Elladan cried after a moment, and he felt the tears beginning to run down his cheeks, but he didn't care.

"Elladan, I—"

"You made it so far! You survived three years and we finally find each other again and now you're going to leave me." Elladan put a hand over his face, trying and failing to hold back a sob. He leaned over Elrohir, hugging him tightly. "Don't leave me…"

"Elladan—"

"Please! These three years were hard enough. I cannot go through it again!"

"Elladan!"

Elladan shut his mouth, looking at Elrohir, who was panting.

"Elladan, you…I am already scared…I…you are making it worse, gwador-nin…" Elrohir said, and tears began to drip slowly down onto the ground from his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Elrohir," Elladan whispered. He stepped away from his brother.

He felt Elrohir's presence fading from his mind. The living could not remain connected with the dead.

Elladan whistled to Narea, who came within a minute from her spot a few meters from the edge of the clearing. She rushed to him, and he shushed her, opened the pack on her back, and started rummaging through it.

"Elladan?" Elrohir called frantically. He felt the blood rushing out of his body, and he knew he would not make it. Where was Elladan? What could possibly be more important than their last moments together?

Elladan did not come closer. He remained with his back turned to Elrohir, who felt his eyelids drooping. It was so hard to stay awake…What was Elladan doing?

"Elladan…I'll miss you…" he whispered, and he fought to keep his eyes open. His brother turned around, and Elrohir's eyes widened as he saw what was in his hand.

"No need," Elladan said grimly. The knife glinted in the setting sun. "I'm coming with you."

_A/N: EEEEEEEK! Please don't kill me!_

_Please review!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: This chapter might be a little confusing if you don't know these things:_

_"" - Normal text and song_

_'' - Elladan's memories of things he and Elrohir have said throughout the course of the story that connect with the song._

_Right now that probably makes no sense, but read on and you will hopefully understand._

_Warning: ANGST AHEAD!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or "Safe and Sound"._

_Chapter 8_

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong with his sons.

"Elrond? Elrond, what is wrong?" Glorfindel said, rushing to the half-elf, who had fallen to his knees. They had been making camp, as usual, and he had suddenly dropped to a kneeling position.

"My lord!" Erestor said, coming to him. Elrond felt the hopelessness and upset pouring from his bond with Elladan, which was stronger than it had been in a long time. They were close.

"Something is wrong. Glorfindel, something is very wrong!" Elrond said, panicked, and he suddenly jumped up, running into the trees towards where he could feel Elladan was.

"Elladan…" Elrohir murmured. He wanted to protest his brother's suicide, but now that he thought about it, it would be better for both of them this way. They could be together for infinity. They did not have to be separated any more.

"Elladan, sing for me?" Elrohir asked, and Elladan kneeled by his brother, putting the knife to the side. He would do it when Elrohir was unconscious. He would not cause his brother to suffer any more.

"Of course," Elladan said, and he thought of a song to sing. Perhaps…yes, that was the one. The song Legolas had sang on his last visit to Rivendell, saying it was a lullaby from Mirkwood. That was perfect.

_"__I remember tears streaming down your face_

_When I said 'I'll never let you go.'"_

'I have missed you so much, my Elrohir…I will never let you go again.'

_"__When all those shadows almost killed your light."_

'Elladan…Elladan…Elladan, it is dark, so dark…'

The haunting melody drifted, barely reaching Elrond's ears. Elladan. That was Elladan's voice.

_"__I remember you said 'don't leave me here alone."_

'Elladan…where…did you go? Don't leave me alone…'

_"__But all that's dead and gone and past_

_Tonight."_

Elrohir closed his eyes. Elladan's soothing voice was surrounding him. It was going to be alright. It had to be.

_"__Just close your eyes._

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright; no one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound."_

'Elrohir…Elrohir…my soul, my brother, my life, my angel, my Elrohir…'

Elrohir's eyes slid closed. Elladan clutched his brother's hand tightly between his own and let his tears flow unchecked down his cheeks. His voice was choked as he continued to sing, unwilling to stop.

_"__Don't you dare look out your window,_

_Darling everything's on fire._

_The war outside our door keeps raging on._

_Hold on to this lullaby,"_

Elladan's voice caught on the next words, and he forced them out, his voice stumbling slightly.

_"__Even when the music's gone._

_Gone."_

Elladan, three years ago, had loved his life. Sure, their mother was no longer with them, but he and Elrohir had a wonderful life and they had loving family and friends surrounding them constantly. He had thought that when he got Elrohir back, eventually everything would go back to normal. But he had to give up that dream.

Elladan loved his life, but he loved his brother more.

He continued to sing even as he let go of Elrohir's hand and began to cut into the tender skin of his forearm. He barely noticed the sting of the cold blade as it entered his skin, nor the blood that poured out. It did not matter. All that mattered was the pale, lifeless face before him. His Elrohir.

_"__Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright,_

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound."_

Elrond was still too far away for his liking. His elven hearing was helping him hear Elladan from so far away, but they were still so far. And something was terribly wrong. He raced through the trees, and he heard Erestor and Glorfindel's light footsteps behind him.

Elladan had always had a problem with emotions. Dealing with them was hard for him, and any negative emotion he had usually turned to anger.

This was no exception.

The cuts he made on himself slowly became more jerky and deeper as his anger grew. The Valar. This was their fault.

"WHY?" he yelled, looking up at the sky. The sun setting slowly to the west was a crimson red. "What have we ever done to deserve this? DAMN YOU!"

He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"MY BROTHER NEVER HURT A SOUL, AND YOU DID THIS TO HIM!" Now he was screaming his lungs out, and the birds that had been in the trees above him flew away in fright. He barely felt the salty tears coming down his cheeks. "YOU DID THIS TO US! WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

"What have I ever done that you would find it fit to punish me by taking the one thing I need? Oh, Valar, I need him. I need him, and you have taken him from me!"

There was a pause, filled only with his own ragged breathing.

"I NEED HIM! GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!"

Elladan's voice rang through the trees, and Elrond picked up the pace even further. His heart was numb.

This could not be happening. Not to his sons. Not to Elladan and Elrohir. Not to the twins.

Elladan felt his head growing fuzzy from blood loss, and his vision was blurring. He lay down carefully, taking each of Elrohir's hands in his own. He faced his brother, whose eyes were closed. Their bond was not fading. They were fading, but the bond stayed strong.

"I love you, Elrohir," Elladan whispered, and he closed his heavy eyes.

Elrond burst into the clearing.

And the sight he saw shattered his heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

Elladan and Elrohir were as identical as always. Both of their faces were pale and ghostly in appearance. Blood pooled around them. Elrond's face paled as he saw the sources of the blood.

An arrow in Elrohir's back.

And deep cuts in Elladan's wrists.

"Valar, no," Elrond breathed. His sons. His two beautiful sons were lying here, alone, in the middle of the forest. Elladan's horse was nudging Elladan's head frantically.

His sons were dead.

_A/N: Please review and please don't kill me! (hides)_


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

_"What are_ you _doing here?"_

_Mandos had come to the door of his Halls, prepared for the younger twin. He had seen everything that had happened to him. He knew they would soon meet._

_What he hadn't expected was the older twin who accompanied him._

_"What do you mean?" the older one asked. Mandos sighed._

_"I did not send for you. I only sent for him. Your time was not through. What are you doing here?"_

_They both looked him right in the eye. He had watched them from birth to death, and yet their identical gazes still unnerved him. One was filled with emotion: anger. Anger at him for suggesting that they would die separately. The younger one's gaze was quieter, his emotions cleverly guarded. The only thing that was unmasked in his eyes was incredible wisdom, far beyond his years. They balanced each other out perfectly._

_"I would never let him come to you alone," the older one said. Mandos's piercing gaze settled fully on him. He looked straight back, shuddering slightly. Mandos turned to look at the younger one. He did not look uncomfortable even being looked at by one of the Valar. He just stared back at him._

_"You still have a purpose in the other world. I cannot allow you entrance. Only he may come," Mandos said, pointing at the younger one._

_"Never!" they both said in unison. "We both go or we both stay!"_

_"Do not defy me," Mandos said, his voice dropping dangerously. "The younger one may come, and the older one will go back. That is the way."_

_"No!" the younger one said. "I have waited for him for far too long for you to separate us now!"_

_Mandos sighed. If he let them both in, their purpose in the Other world would not be fulfilled, and that was the only requirement to enter his halls. He had thought that one of them could complete their task just fine, but apparently there was no way to do it but to let them both go._

_"Fine. Unless you want to be with your mother, young one?"_

Elrond was frozen. He barely felt the stinging of pebbles on his knees as they buckled and hit the ground. He reached out with shaking hands, touching Elladan's face with his right hand, and Elrohir's with his left. His touch was feathery light.

A sound between a sob and a scream left his mouth, and he stayed completely unmoving. They had to wake up. They had to!

Glorfindel came around to the side of the twins, his face set like a stone. He felt under their necks, one hand each.

Nothing.

_The second that it took Elrohir to think before replying was enough time to make Elladan's heart drop to his stomach._

_"No. When we are reunited with her, it will be together."_

_Elladan let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding._

_"Very well. I will send you back. But first, I must talk to the younger one."_

_The two looked at him. He gave the older one an icy glare._

_"Alone."_

_The older one glared right back at him._

_"I know what you're doing. You'll say you're talking with him, but he will never come back!"_

_"I swear on my honor as one of the Valar that I will return him to you," Mandos said. "I only wish to speak to him."_

_The older one still looked at him incredulously, but the younger one put a hand on his brother's arm._

_"Don't worry, Elladan. I will come back to you, even if I have to fight all the Valar and Maia to do so."_

_Mandos blinked. He had never heard such a promise before._

_The older one sighed and nodded. The younger one followed him wordlessly to a distance far enough away that the older one would not hear._

_"You have the gift of healing," Mandos said, deciding to skip any pretense. "I have seen your cause and I have found it worthy. I would give you the energy to heal all the wounds you and your brother have sustained, were it allowed. I can give you the energy you would need to heal some of your wounds, or all of your brother's. I am not allowed to give you more than that. If you choose to heal your brother, you will take his pain, though not the wounds themselves, onto your body."_

_The younger one did not seem surprised. Mandos wondered what it would take to shake him._

_"What do you choose?"_

_"Elladan. I will heal Elladan, of course."_

_Mandos nodded, and brought the younger one back to where the older one was standing, looking at him suspiciously. The younger one gave his brother a comforting smile. The two held hands._

_The world in front of them spiraled away into nothingness._

Erestor had buried his face in the robe he was wearing, trying to hide any evidence of the tears that were running down his face. Glorfindel hung his head in sadness. Elrond remained staring at the twins, disbelief written all over his face.

At least, that's what's they were doing until Elrohir started to glow.

White light surrounded the younger twin, and Elrond's hand jerked back as if he had been burnt. Glorfindel's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

Elrohir's eyes snapped open. The normally pale gray hues were glowing nearly silver. He reached out one hand, touching the wounds on Elladan's arms. His whole body jerked, and he took a sharp breath.

Erestor gasped as the wounds closed up and healed into flawless skin before his eyes.

When the wounds were fully healed, Elrohir's glow disappeared so fast that it seemed as if it had simply dropped off of him. His eyes shut tightly and he groaned, falling back onto his side with nothing to soften his fall.

Elladan's eyes fluttered open.

"What…how…?" Glorfindel muttered, and Elladan gave him no more than a glance before his attention was taken up solely by his twin.

Elrohir was breathing hard. The pain was washing over him like waves. They pounded against him in a merciless assault, and even as he desperately tried to make his way to the surface for breath he was pulled further under. All the original wounds, the arrow, the feeling like he was bleeding out through his wrists when he knew he wasn't. It was all too much. Too much pain. He whimpered.

"Shhh, shhh, Elrohir, I have you. I have you," Elladan murmured, brushing Elrohir's hair away from his face with one hand. "Shhhhhh…oh El…"

Elladan caught a glimpse of his wrists. He did a double take. There was nothing there.

Suddenly it all made terrible sense.

"Why?" he gasped, looking at Elrohir's face, which was contorted with pain. "Why would you do that, El?"

Elrohir did not seem to hear him. Hot tears were sneaking from the corners of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. Any anger that Elladan might have had disappeared in an instant.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is all my fault," Elladan said, and he took his brother's hand. "Shhh, just rest. I am here, and I am well. I will look after you."

He kissed Elrohir's brow tenderly. Elrohir took a long, shuddering breath, before his eyes rolled back in his head and closed as he fell unconscious from the pain.

There was silence for a moment in the clearing. All of them stared at Elladan, who had eyes only for his twin.

Elrond practically pounced on Elladan, throwing his arms around him in a desperate embrace.

"You're alive," Elrond breathed. "Oh Valar, you're alive. I thought I had lost the two of you."

Elladan returned the embrace, breathing in the scent of his father's robes.

"And you've come back," Elladan whispered, and he felt tears prickling his eyes. He had needed this. He had needed his father's love and support all this time, with his brother lost.

"Oh Valar, Elladan, I'm so sorry," Elrond said into Elladan's hair. "I'm so sorry. I should've been there. I got so caught up in my own grief that I didn't even think about how all of this would be affecting you. And it's been much harder on you than it ever was on me."

Elladan did not argue, and Elrond pulled away. He looked down at Elrohir's face.

"And you. My dearest, dearest Elrohir. You had us worried sick, did you know that? It is so good to have you back," he whispered, as if the younger twin could hear him. He stroked his short hair gently.

Glorfindel put his hand on Elladan's shoulder. Elladan turned to him. It had been a long time since he had really talked to Glorfindel.

"Well done," Glorfindel said, and Elladan's eyes, which would've normally been filled with pride at a compliment from his role model and friend, were filled with incurable worry. He gave Glorfindel a smile and glanced at Erestor, who merely nodded at him before going over to Elrond's side and fussing over Elrohir.

"Will he be alright?" Erestor asked Elrond worriedly, reaching out to touch Elrohir but thinking better of it at the last minute and drawing his hand back.

"We need to get him home," Elrond said, not answering the question. Erestor's brows knitted in worry at the vague answer, but he did not say anything.

Glorfindel whistled, and the horses that he, Elrond, and Erestor had ridden soon galloped into the clearing. Elladan went over to Narea, who nuzzled him in relief.

"Do you have any healing supplies with you?" Elladan asked his father, looking up at him as he stroked Narea's muzzle.

"Yes," Elrond said. "I saw he was in pain earlier, but I did not think it would be bad enough to hinder us on the way home. Do you want me to check him over now?"

Elladan nodded wordlessly, and Elrond's heart jumped in fear. If Elladan thought it was that bad…

He kneeled by Elrohir and pulled a knife from his boot, cutting off the tunic easily. He laid the dagger on the ground.

Elladan swooped in and grabbed it.

The word 'no!' was halfway up Elrond's throat, the image of Elladan lying on the ground, dead from self-inflicted wounds still fresh in his mind, when Elladan grasped the ends of his own hair and, in one precise movement, chopped it off so it was the same length as Elrohir's. Elrond breathed out slowly as Elladan dropped the unwanted raven locks to the forest floor.

Elladan placed the knife back on the ground wordlessly. Elrond turned back to the task at hand. His hands wavered above the tunic, afraid of what he might see.

Elladan noticed his father's hesitation, and he pulled the pieces of the tunic away himself. Then he carefully peeled the bandages away from Elrohir's skin one by one, trying to ignore the way the creases of worry on his father's face were deepening drastically each time.

Once all the bandages were off, Elrond simply stared at his youngest son's mutilated body with a look of sheer horror. He traced the line of Elrohir's jaw, where a long cut ran that Elladan had not even noticed before. There were so many wounds, he barely noticed the smaller ones. Now that he looked, there were purple bruises where the orc's hands had been around his neck. A dark bruise was on his forehead, above his left eye. Countless tiny cuts.

Too much pain.

"Wake him up," Elladan said suddenly, and Elrond started.

"What?"

"Use some herbs. Just wake him up, please…Please just wake him up."

Elladan looked more tired than he had in many, many centuries. Elrond got his pack from his horse and took out an herb without another word. He kneeled by Elrohir's side and placed them under his nose. The scent would hopefully help to wake his son.

Elrohir stirred with a moan. Elrond looked to Elladan, his resolve wavering at the sound.

"Are you sure?" Elrond said. "He will be in a lot of pain."

"I know," Elladan said. His eyes were grieved but determined. "But I must do this…it is important."

Elrohir groaned loudly, and Elladan went to his side, putting a hand on his brother's face.

"Hey, El. I'm sorry to wake you…" Elladan said. Elrohir swatted lightly at his brother's arm before letting it drop, wincing and regretting moving at all.

"You should be," Elrohir gasped.

"...but I…we need to…I need to be able to give you more strength, gwador, and I wish to feel you in my mind as I did before."

Elrohir looked up at him, his eyes slightly glazed. He stared into Elladan's eyes intently before, seeming to approve, putting his palms facing Elladan.

Elladan took a deep breath, and they put their palms together.

_A/N: A longer chapter this time! Couldn't figure out how to end it._

_So, now that we've established that the twins are alive, I have a question. I was thinking about doing a second part to this story about Elrohir's mental recovery, since we know him getting home won't fix everything...(*evil laugh*). Would you all like that?_

_Please review!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

_Elrond wanted to bang his head on the wall in frustration. He was the greatest healer in the halls, when he was being modest, and they had shut him out of the healing room as his own wife was giving birth! How ridiculous could you get?_

_He had been pacing for almost an hour at the beginning, and now he was sitting against the wall, as he had been for who-knows-how many hours. His first children—twins!—and he wasn't even allowed to be in the room._

_The walls were soundproof, which he had specifically asked for in the design. Why did he do that? He asked himself now, because he wanted desperately any small sound, just a little noise to tell him how it was going._

_The door slid open, and one of the healers came out._

_"My lord Elrond," she said. Her eyes were brimming with tears. Elrond felt his heartbeat suddenly go up to the pace of a hummingbird's wings._

_"What is it? What is wrong?" he asked, his voice panicked. The elleth simply shook her head and opened the door further._

_When he came in, Celebrian had tears running down her face._

_"Celebrian! What is wrong, melleth?" Elrond said, rushing to her side. His heart was dreading the answer._

_"The oldest…my Elladan…they say he will not make it," Celebrian choked out. She buried her head in the rich fabric of his robes. Perhaps, with her ear against his chest, she could hear the moment his heart stopped at those words, before once more resuming its frantic pace._

_"My lord, the children are here…Elladan is the one with Ansferel, and Elrohir is with Gillian."_

_Elrond looked to the two nurses who stood, each holding a little bundle of cloth. They came to him. Inside the bundles were two perfect little identical faces, and Elrond fell in love with his sons at that moment. He watched as Elrohir's huge grayish eyes opened, and he fell into them. There was such deep wisdom in them that even he felt dwarfed by it._

_He turned to Elladan forcefully, watching as his tiny chest heaved with every breath. He was sweating wildly, and Elrond held out his hands for the child. Ansferel handed him his eldest wordlessly, moisture glistening in her eyes._

_They were right. Elladan would not survive the night. Elrond could tell by looking at him. His body had not formed properly, something was missing; part of a lung perhaps, judging by his harsh breaths. Elrond held his child close, trying to calm himself._

_Elrohir's tiny hand reached from under the blankets and towards his brother and father. When Gillian tried to bundle him up again, he shrieked, reaching all the more desperately and squirming. Elrond finally gave in._

_"It's alright…let them see each other."_

_Both twins were placed on their sides in one of the cribs in the room, facing each other. Elrond let his hand touch either one's cheek lightly before he drew away, though he still peered over the edge of the crib. Elladan's eyes were still shut, and Elrohir blinked owlishly and reached out to his brother, touching him lightly._

_The entire room burst with bright white light._

_Elrond and the others in the room were flung against the walls, and Celebrian into the headboard of the bed. Elrond's head slammed into the wall, and the sudden, blinding pain almost made him black out. Within a few seconds, the light was gone. Elrond jumped up, and, despite the sudden dizziness that assaulted him when he stood. He stumbled to the crib and peered inside._

_Elrohir and Elladan's hands were together, and their breathing was completely in sync, though Elladan's was still labored. Elrohir reached out with his other hand, closing his huge eyes. Elrond watched in fascination as his hand glowed, and Elladan's breathing became easy and deep. Elrohir's eyes fluttered closed, and Elladan's eyes opened. His little chubby hand reached and smoothed Elrohir's little tufts of hair, and he smiled a wide, toothless grin. Elrohir's eyes opened again, and he giggled, though it was rather weak. His eyelids were drooping._

_Elrond stared in awe. What had just…happened?_

_"Elrond, what has happened?" Celebrian said frantically from the bed. She had tried to stand, and the healers were trying to hold her down._

_"Elrohir…Elrohir has healed him…Elrohir has healed Elladan!" Elrond exclaimed, picking up the tiny baby that was the younger twin and spinning him around above his head. Elrohir squealed in delight. "Good job, my son!" He pulled the baby close to his face and kissed his nose. Elrohir grinned, putting his hands on his father's face._

_Elladan cried out from the crib, and Elrond picked him up in his other arm. The twins peered at each other again. And he let them. Celebrian was crying with joy. She held her hands out shakily, and Elrond placed Elladan in them. She settled him in one arm, and Elrond handed her Elrohir as well. She gazed at both of them in pure adoration, tears still flowing from her eyes. Elrohir yawned and turned so his face was buried in her chest, before falling into a deep sleep._

_"They are perfect, Elrond. They are absolutely perfect."_

What Elrohir and Elladan had done just after being born became clearer, later in their lives. When they willed it, the simple touch of their palms could unite their minds completely, and the power released through such a bond was incredible, and thus the light and force that came from it. And, of course, Elrohir's healing power. There was no way he could've done such a healing act, which was even beyond Elrond, with such little energy loss, especially so young. Thinking on it later, Elrond remembered that he had touched each of the twins. Perhaps Elrohir had accepted some of his energy then.

Since they became warriors, Elladan and Elrohir could use the mind-meld if they were in dire need during battle to simply knock out all of their opponents. But Elrond and Glorfindel were so used to it by now that they simply dropped to the ground, Glorfindel grabbing Erestor's tunic and pulling him down with them.

The roaring winds above their heads blocked out all else. The mind-meld had grown stronger every time the twins had used it, and of course this time was no exception.

By the time the wind and light died down, it had been almost a full minute, and Elrond lifted his head carefully. The entire clearing was completely barren. Every stick and stone that had once been there had been blown away into the other parts of the forest, and the ground had become smooth and it had no blemishes.

"Thank you, Elrohir," Elladan whispered, and Elrohir's hand fell back down again. Elladan kissed his brother's forehead. "Thank you. I will not disturb your rest again, I promise."

"I have missed you…" Elrohir murmured, and he fell back into oblivion.

"And I, you, my brother," Elladan whispered, and Elrond, Glorfindel, and Erestor came to him.

"May I ask what the purpose of that was?" Elrond asked.

"Now I can tell you exactly where he is hurting, even when he's unconscious," Elladan said. "And...I just think we both needed this. We've been separated for so long, Ada." Elladan looked at the ground, the sadness obvious in his eyes.

Elrond's face was dark as he nodded. He glanced back at Elrohir, whose wounds were still fully visible. He sighed.

"I guess we have to get started, then."

O:o:O

It was three days later that Elrohir was bandaged from head to toe and lying in the healing ward, dead to the world. The citizens of Rivendell had been delighted when they heard Elladan was coming home early, and that Elrond, Erestor, and Glorfindel were with him, coming to the conclusion almost immediately that Elrohir had been found. Many of them had gathered in the courtyard to the Last Homely House. But when the tiny figures appeared in the distance, they became worried. There were only four horses, instead of five. Where was the other one? They asked each other. There were several cries of dismay and upset when they finally arrived, and everyone saw Elladan's grieved face and Elrohir's limp body in his arms. Elrond, Erestor, Glorfindel, and Elladan dashed off to the halls of healing without a word to their citizens.

That was yesterday. Today, everything had calmed somewhat, and Elrond found himself faced with a rather daunting task: paperwork. Whenever there was a new patient in the healing ward, the healer assigned to them had to fill out a detailed form about the injuries that the person had and their recovery. Elrond sat at Elrohir's bedside, holding the stack of papers and a quill. Glorfindel and Erestor had gone to look after the realm, and now it was only him and Elladan left in the room.

"Elladan, I'm going to read this out loud to you. Let me know if I missed anything," Elrond said. Elladan nodded, stroking Elrohir's hair away from his forehead. Elrohir really looked awful, his face pale and gaunt.

"Description of condition: several small cuts and bruises on the face. A large cut above left eye. A cut along right jawbone. Bruising around the neck. Crushed throat. Three broken ribs and one cracked on the right, two broken on the left. Deep stab wounds to right shoulder, lower left abdomen, and right thigh. Infection in wound in lower left abdomen. Severe bruising to torso and legs, cuts on either arm, cuts of various severity all over torso and upper legs. Whiplashes covering the entirety of back."

Elrond stopped, and Elladan appeared to think for a moment.

"You forgot about the malnutrition and dehydration," Elladan said. Elrond nodded, writing that down. He looked back up at Elladan, who had gone back to simply gazing at his brother, stroking his hair. There was a moment of silence between them.

"Why did this have to happen, Ada?" Elladan whispered. "What has he ever done to deserve such a thing?"

"I do not know, ion-nin. Nothing, I suppose. Your nana did not do anything to deserve what happened to her, either. This kind of thing just happens, even to the innocent."

"Do not compare them!" Elladan said sharply, turning to his father with blazing eyes. "Don't you ever compare them! Comparing him to nana was the worst mistake of my life!"

Elrond sat in stunned silence for a moment, having no idea what Elladan was talking about. Elladan sighed, and, feeling slightly guilty that he hadn't tole him before, began to tell his father the story of the day Elrohir was captured.

_Elladan's eyes snapped open, and he gasped. The nightmare, as always. The bright bandages stood out starkly against his brother's skin as he lay in the sunlight, and Elladan stared at him._

_Every time he saw a bandage, Elladan's mind snapped back to the thought of his mother, lying pale and covered in white, the light gone from her eyes. Even now, he was silently wishing that Elrohir would heal quickly, if only to take away the reminder of his naneth, and to be saved from the nightmares._

_Elrohir's eyes snapped open, and he looked intently at Elladan from his spot in the grass. Elladan got up, and passed Elrohir without a word between them and continued back into the forest, towards their camp. They had fallen asleep in the warmth of the sun on the riverbank._

_"Elladan!" Elrohir called after him, getting up quickly, wincing as the movement pulled at the still-healing wound on his leg, and jogged, off balanced, after his brother. "Elladan!"_

_"Leave me alone, El," Elladan said. Elrohir shook his head, knowing that even if Elladan had his back to him, he would sense his movement._

_"I can't, Elladan. You know I can't."_

_There was a pause._

_"Stop comparing me to nana, Elladan. Please."_

_Elladan whirled around, his thoughts spinning in a dangerous direction. The horror from the nightmare, no, the memory, was still haunting him. How dare Elrohir say that? Stop thinking about his naneth? STOP THINKING ABOUT HER?_

_"How dare you?" Elladan spat, and he came up to Elrohir, so close that he could see the little flecks of silver in his eyes. Just like nana's. "You can't tell me to stop thinking about her!"_

_"You're only hurting yourself, Elladan."_

_"And you don't hurt!" Elladan yelled. "You barely cared when she left us! I was the one who made us go and slaughter all those worthless orcs, and you just tagged along, feeding off of me! To me, it looks like you didn't even love her!"_

_Elrohir looked shocked, stumbling back a step at the harsh words. He clutched at his heart through his tunic, as if the words were physically hurting him._

_"Elladan, you know I-"_

_Elrohir was cut off by a searing pain in his cheek, and his face snapped backward with the force of the blow. He felt his throbbing face with one hand, staring at Elladan with wide eyes._

_Sure, they had fought before, but Elladan had never hit him so._

_There was a moment of near silence, filled only by the harsh, ragged breaths of Elladan. Elrohir's voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke._

_"If I go and kill some orcs now, will you forgive me?"_

_"Of course. Should our kill count become the same, you will be once more a brother to me," Elladan sneered, and Elrohir nodded slowly, before turning and limping towards the camp. A few minutes later, when Elladan arrived at the camp, he was already gone. Elladan sat down and began work on tending to the fire._

_It took almost an hour for what he did to finally dawn on Elladan, and when it did, he panicked. How could he have said that? How? How could Elrohir ever forgive him? He had said that he didn't love their nana, and he had sent him into danger! He had put his brother in danger..._

_He jumped up, running into the trees in the direction he guessed Elrohir would've gone._

_A half an hour later was the worst moment of his life._

_A/N: I know that no normal babies would be so alert/chilled out/not screaming their faces off when they have just been born, but elven babies are different, at least for the sake of this story._

_I think I am going to make the second part of this story, as I mentioned in the last authors note, as part of the same story rather than making a separate one, to make the transition easier. Also I have a pretty satisfying ending thought up, so..._

_Please review!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

_"It's alright, just wait and see_

_Your string of lights is still bright to me_

_Who you are is not where you've been_

_You're still an innocent_

_You're still an innocent."_

~_Innocent,_Taylor Swift

Elrohir felt a strange new thing. Before, there had been nothing. What was this?

Pain.

He hurt. It all was centered in his stomach and his torso, but it was everywhere, burning, suffocating him with streams of black smoke that grew thicker by the minute. His throat and his chest were on fire. Everything was red. He let out a strangled gasp.

"Elrohir? Elrohir, are you awake? 'Ro!"

Elrohir's eyes squeezed shut harder in pain. The feminine voice calling out to him seemed so loud and it sent a stab of pain through his head with each word. The voice was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place it. He forced his eyes to open a crack.

He closed them quickly, and kept them like that for a minute, temporary blinded by the light.

"Arwen, could you close the curtains, please?"

Another voice. Who was that? His head was throbbing.

He had said Arwen. Who was Arwen?

"Of course, Ada."

The truth hit him like a ton of bricks. How could he have forgotten about his little sister? And his father?

He tried to open his eyes again, and this time it was slightly darker in the room, so he succeeded. Two faces were occupying his field of vision. Dark hair, curly from his right and straight from his left, touched his face. His voice was raspy, croaky, even, when he spoke.

"Ada? Arwen..."

He was lying on his side, and their faces were sideways to him.

"Mae govannen, gwador," Arwen said, leaning down and kissing her brother's nose, as she had since she was an elfling who could barely reach that high, even standing on a chair. "How are you?"

"I...I'm alright..." he said, wincing again. Even at a whisper, his voice was all too loud.

"And wargs can fly!" Arwen said, and Elrohir stared at her in astonishment. His brows furrowed in confusion.

Arwen burst out laughing at his confused face, and he winced as his headache flared. The sound made him feel a little bit happy, though he couldn't force a smile in his confusion. Everything seemed to be happening as if it were through a wall of water.

Elrond's hands were on his wrist, feeling for his pulse. He looked slightly worried by what he found. He smiled anyway when he saw Elrohir's glassy eyes looking at him.

"Hello, ion-nin. I am very glad you are awake."

Elrohir smiled a little, and there was a pause.

"Elladan?" he said, his voice raspy.

"I'm here, El," a voice from behind him. He twisted his torso, ignoring his father's cry not to move. He bit his lip to conceal a moan from the pain the movement caused, and Elladan came into view. His eyes were happy, but there were dark bags under them and his face was paler than normal.

"How long...how long have I...been out?" Elrohir asked, turning to his father. Elrond's smile faded.

"About five days. You must be exhausted. And do try not to talk too much, Elrohir. Your throat is still healing."

"And of course you didn't sleep that whole time," Elrohir said, taking his father's advice and letting his voice drop to a whisper. He looked pointedly at Elladan.

"Of course not. You wouldn't have, if it was me," Elladan said, and Elrohir ignored his statement, pulling on his brother's wrist with all the force he could muster.

"Sleep," he said.

"He's right, you know," Arwen said to Elladan, earning a tired glare. "He's always right, when it comes to you. I would trust him, 'Dan." She was the only one who had ever called them 'Dan and 'Ro. Elrohir had missed this.

Elladan gave in with a sigh, carefully lying in the bed behind Elrohir, curling around his brother's form easily. The minute his eyes closed, his breathing deepened and he was gone.

Elrohir placed his hands on one of Elladan's, which had come around to hug him close. He gave a small smile and looked up at Arwen and Elrond, his eyes teary.

"I love you," he whispered. Arwen beamed at him, and Elrond smiled gently.

They were the last thing he saw before drifting into oblivion.

_"It's been a while, elf."_

_Elrohir blinked slowly to awareness. Where was he?_

_It was dark in this place, too dark. He didn't like it._

_The familiar, tangy smell of blood reached his nose, and for once, he did not think it was his own. He didn't feel any pain. Whose blood was it, then?_

_Why was there blood? The last thing he remembered was Ada and Arwen, leaning over him, and Elladan, hugging him from behind as he slept._

_There were still arms around him._

_Elladan._

_Elrohir turned around, trying to get a good view of his brother, who, so far, hadn't moved at all. When he saw his twin, his heart stopped._

_"You thought you could escape us, scum? Well, your brother has paid the price for you disobedience."_

_Elladan's eyes were unseeing, and blood was seeping from his nose and mouth._

_"Elladan?" Elrohir whispered, horrified. Elladan didn't respond._

_Elrohir jolted upright, shaking his brother's shoulders. The lolling head rolled around. The eyes stayed open._

_There was blood all over both of them. Elrohir felt it all over his hands, his stomach, everywhere. He was covered from head to toe in his brother's blood._

_"Elladan! Elladan! Wake up! ELLADAN!"_

"Elrohir! 'Ro, what's wrong? Wake up!"

Elrohir let out an anguished scream, the sight of Elladan's dead face all he could see as he rocketed into a sitting position. He clutched at his chest, struggling to breathe. He felt a nagging sense of pain, but that was nothing compared to the agony coursing through his broken heart.

"'Ro! What is wrong? 'Ro!"

"What is wrong?" Elrohir gasped through his tears. "What is wrong? Elladan!"

"'Ro, look at me! What has happened to Elladan?"

"HE IS DEAD!" Elrohir yelled, his voice echoing through the room and the half-opened door. "He is dead..."

He was sobbing now, hugging himself so tightly his knuckles were white.

"He is dead. He has left me. He is dead. He has left me. He is dead..."

"Ada! Ada, please come help...something is wrong!" Arwen yelled through the open door, even as she tried to calm her brother down. She hated to see him like this. He had always been so strong, and now he was at his most vulnerable. No one knew how to take care of him properly but his twin, and that was the one thing she was not.

Elrohir's eyes dulled slightly, and Arwen stared in fascinated horror. They continued to grow darker and darker.

And then they were black.

"'RO!" she screamed, shaking his shoulders. His limp hands fell to his sides, and his eyes were lifeless. "'DAN, ADA! ELLADAN, HELP ME!"

Elladan burst into the room, ignoring Arwen completely and sprinting to his twin.

"El!" he cried, shaking him roughly. It could not be! It could not be! There must be some other explanation...

"Wake up! El! Don't you dare leave me!" Elladan choked out, his voice clogged with tears. He fell to his knees, burying his face in his brother's tunic. "Do not leave me..."

Elrond rushed through the door, taking everything in in an instant. Elrohir's black eyes, Elladan's sobbing form on his knees, the tears running down Arwen's face.

He ran to Elrohir, feeling desperately for a pulse with fingers clumsy from fear. His son could not be dead. He could not!

There it was. There was a heartbeat.

"Elladan," Elrond said, going over to his firstborn and putting a hand on his shaking shoulder. "He's alive. Calm down, Elladan."

Elladan looked up, his cheeks drenched with tears. He reached out with a shaking hand, touching his twin's face with his fingers, trying to center himself. He tried to say something, but it got caught in a sob, which he released before trying again to form a coherent sentence.

"If...If he is alive...why don't I feel him?"

Elladan's hand was over his heart, as if he were searching for Elrohir's presence within it.

Elrond did not reply. Instead he did the routine checks of Elrohir's vitals, feeling his temperature and his pulse again. He turned to Elladan.

"Everything seems normal—better, in fact, than before. His heartbeat is strong and constant, and his temperature has gone down. It seems as if his mind has just...shut down."

"Shut down?" Elladan said, his voice rising in pitch with his panic. "_Shut down?_"

"Wait. I do not think we have reason to despair," Elrond said. "During the end of his captivity, neither you nor I nor Arwen could ever feel him, remember? This might be commonplace. It seems that his mind has shut down for some reason, but there's no reason it couldn't, in a sense, turn back on." He took a deep breath. "Arwen, what happened before his eyes went dark?"

"He was...I think he was having a nightmare," Arwen said, putting her hands around her mouth and nose as if she was struggling not to cry. Her voice was echoed slightly from the position of her hands. "He wouldn't wake up, no matter how much I called for him. When he did wake up, the only thing he could tell me was that...that Elladan was dead." She looked away.

There was a moment of silence as Elladan looked stricken, staring at Elrohir, and Elrond appeared to think about what his daughter had said.

"I have a theory," Elrond said, and Elladan and Arwen both looked to him. "I think that when the pain, physical or psychological, becomes too much for him, his mind shuts itself down. I don't know what it would take to wake him up. Some kind of stimulus, I assume."

There was another pause. Elladan buried his face in his hands.

"Why?" he asked again, much like he had a few days prior. "Why did this have to happen to him? He did not deserve any of this...It should've been me."

Elrond opened his mouth to respond, but Elladan was already up, and, within a second, he was gone.

_A/N: Forgive me for the wait, though I am sure you've started to expect it by now._

_This chapter marks the beginning of Part 2, which focuses on Elrohir's mental recovery._

_Let me know if you have any questions about the mind-shut down thing._

_Please review! Please, please, please, please, please!_


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